Killing Her Is Easy
by Margaret R. O'Halloran
Summary: Kathryn Janeway has a secret. When someone tries to kill her to keep that secret, Crewman Eliara Moore digs into her past to find out what she did. Can a figure from her shadowy memories save her before all her nightmares come true?
1. The Rumor Mill

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

* * *

><p><strong>09:00 hours<strong>

Captain Kathryn Janeway gazed out the porthole of her ready room, searching the blackness for any sign of life. They'd been in this void for over a week now, going on two, and she was going out of her mind with boredom. Chakotay kept trying to distract her from the redundant and mind-numbing quiet, had for all intents and purposes ordered the crew to attempt to lighten her mood whenever possible. Not that any of them needed the directive. Tom had been cracking jokes on the bridge all week, and today he'd even got Tuvok to react. He'd looked at her, a searching expression and a goofy grin on his face, both falling away quickly when he saw the reproachful glare she gave him. He'd canned it then, turning silently back to his helm controls; she'd resisted the urge to say something unbecoming and escaped to her ready room, leaving Chakotay in command. Five minutes later, coffee in hand, she stood staring out into the artificial night. She knew it was only a matter of time before genuine depression set in, and she sighed. She took a sip from the mug in her hand and grimaced, a groan of disgust leaving her throat. She swallowed the small mouthful and glared at the drink. This was a very bad time for her replicator to be acting up. It had given her a sorry excuse for her preferred drink, a cold, watery, bitter substitute that tasted like Neelix's Leola root tea. She put the cup back into the replicator, recycled it, and sat on the couch beneath her bay window. She leaned forward, dropped her head into her hands, and tried to ignore the fact that she had gone four days without a cup of coffee. They were so low on resources that they were two days away from running in Grey Mode, and she had been avoiding Neelix like the Phage. His attempts to make or find a coffee substitute she liked were always well intentioned, but always so far off the mark. She longed to be back on Earth, sitting in a coffee house and enjoying joying a big, steaming hot mug of freshly ground and brewed dark roast coffee.

Her doorbell chimed and she groaned. She really didn't want company right now.

Before she could respond, the doors slid open and Seven of Nine strode in confidently, her arms placed firmly behind her back in her typical parade rest stance. Kathryn's head snapped up when she heard her door open and she glared at the ex-drone.

"You shouldn't just walk in without permission, Seven," she reprimanded, trying to keep her tone even. "It's rude."

Seven arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and ignored her captain's comment.

"I have completed my scans in Astrometrics and I require your assistance in ascertaining the appropriate way to proceed. The most efficient course of action would be-"

Kathryn interrupted her, her tone dropping to dangerous levels.

"You came all the way up here, barged into my ready room, invaded my privacy for this?"

Seven arched the eyebrow again.

"Explain," she replied.

Kathryn pursed her lips and stood, her tone bordering on sarcastic.

"I would have responded to a hail, Seven. It's a much more efficient means of communication."

The blonde's irritation showed.

"As I have been unable to completely state my intentions, your assessment is incorrect."

Kathryn's eyes flashed.

"Incorrect?"

"Yes. You have informed me that my method of relaying information is inefficient. That assessment cannot be made until you have been presented with all of the necessary information. As I have yet to provide you with that information, your assessment is incorrect."

Kathryn glowered at her, noting the ever-present arrogance in those blue eyes. The two women stood, silently facing off, neither willing to back down, until Kathryn finally spread her arms out, palms up.

"Fine, Seven. Relay your information."

Seven nodded.

"I have finished my scans in Astrometrics, and have reconfigured the long range sensors with Borg enhancements, as discussed. Icheb relieved me of my shift and has informed me that he has found an M-class planet in this void, seven lightyears from our current position."

Kathryn perked up.

"Let's go have a look," she replied, heading for the door.

"I am not finished, Captain," Seven stated, holding an arm out to block her superior officer's path just as the doors of her ready room hissed open. Kathryn looked down at the arm, barely stopping before she bumped into it. She balled both hands into fists, trying to control the urge to bite Seven's head off. She leveled the blonde with a steely gaze.

"We can discuss it on the way to Astrometrics," she stated simply. Seven gave her an odd look, one that Kathryn recognized as apprehension and her expression softened.

"It is my understanding that the topic I wish to discuss is not one that you would prefer the crew to overhear."

Now she had her captain's attention. Kathryn stepped back, moved to the upper level of the room and invited Seven to sit down. In true Borg fashion, the ex-drone refused.

"I prefer to stand."

Kathryn sighed. She hadn't expected different, really. She sat on the couch again, her right leg tucked under her and her left foot on the floor, her right elbow on the back of the couch. She rested the side of her head on her fingertips.

"What's this about, Seven?"

The blonde fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment.

"I am unaccustomed to this feeling," she began. "I believe I am experiencing apprehension and anxiety. This topic is one that I am not sure you wish to discuss, however, as captain I have no doubt that you will soon discover it soon, whether I inform you or not. I have been informed that hearing something from someone you trust is often much better than hearing it in an otherwise undesirable setting."

Kathryn waited patiently for her to continue, her curiosity growing with her frown. When the drone was silent for a good three minutes, Kathryn licked her lips and cleared her throat, trying to prompt more information from the woman in front of her.

Seven swallowed, then continued.

"There have been reports made by certain members of the crew of a rather unsettling development, regarding you and and an ensign in Engineering."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of 'development' are we talking about here, Seven?"

Seven shifted again. Kathryn thought she might have seen the blonde blush, but if she had, it dissipated before Kathryn could be sure.

"One that involves several bottles of synthe-hol, a night spent in your quarters, and several instances of copulation."

Kathryn's jaw dropped. She sat up, her rage building.

"Copula... Seven, that's what we call a rumor. I can assure that I never 'copulated' with a single member of my crew, nor have any intention of doing so in the future! Aside from Commander Chakotay passing out from sheer exhaustion on a couch in my office after a long command team meeting, there have been no overnight visitors in my quarters."

She was on her feet now.

"Where did you hear this? Who else has heard it?"

Seven wasted no time in replying.

"I am unsure where this 'rumor' originated. Crewman Anthony Packard divulged the misinformation to Crewman Kenneth Dalby. This exchange was overheard by Crewman Melanie Baxter, who then informed Crewman Eliara Moore. Crewman Moore informed me, and that exchange was over heard by Ensign Paris, who informed Lieutenant Torres. Lieutenant Torres has not continued the spread of information, though I have no doubt others are aware of it."

Kathryn paled.

"How many others?"

Seven did a quick calculation in her head.

"If the 'rumor' has maintained its speed in spreading, then by this time it has no doubt reached the entire ship. You seem to be the last to know of it."

The captain was chewing on the inside of her cheek, trying to figure out how this all could have started. She was lost in thought when Seven spoke next, the ex-drone's voice cutting through her internal rant. She realized that she had no idea what her Astrometrics officer had just said and berated herself for not listening better.

"I'm sorry, Seven," she apologized, running a hand through her chin-length hair. "I didn't hear you. What did you say?"

"I asked you what course of action would be best to take in dealing with the individuals who started this...'rumor'."

Kathryn sighed.

"Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I'll meet with the senior staff after lunch and have them speak with their departments."

Seven contemplated that for a moment, then nodded.

"We will proceed to the Astrometrics lab and review the data Icheb has gathered regarding the M-class planet," she stated.

Kathryn smiled slightly, narrowed her eyes in jest at the blonde and waggled a finger at her, the other hand on her hip.

"Be careful where you give the orders, Seven," she reminded her.

The ex-drone cocked her head in acknowledgment and stepped aside, letting Kathryn walk out of the room first.

* * *

><p><strong>11:45 hours<strong>

Kathryn sat in the mess hall, drinking a cup of makeshift coffee and reviewing a PADD filled with Icheb's data on the M-class planet.

The meeting with the two ex-drones in Astrometrics went better than she'd hoped. It had certainly greatly improved her mood. She felt genuinely happy for the first time in weeks. The planet was only seven lightyears away, and at Warp four (the absolute maximum speed B'Elanna felt they could maintain) they would be there in a little over 18 days. She had quickly decided the necessary course change was worth it if it meant shore leave for _Voyager_ and her crew. It had been months since they'd encountered a planet safe enough to touch down. They were all going a little stir-crazy. She knew they'd be happy with the vacation time, and B'Elanna would finally have a chance to get a start on some much needed repairs. She'd been pressing for an opportunity to touch down and get started, had even gone so far as to have Chakotay start reminding her that their replicators wouldn't hold out forever, every time she ordered a coffee or invited him to join her. B'Elanna would be thrilled.

Kathryn was just finishing the last paragraph of data, having reviewed the PADD's contents for the third time, and was about to head back to the bridge when Neelix plopped into a chair across from her, twitching with excitement.

She looked up at him over the top of her mug and smiled, taking a sip of coffee. He was just sitting there, beaming at her. She swallowed, her smile still playing at her lips.

"Yes, Neelix? Is there something on your mind?" She took another sip of coffee.

"I just wanted to say, 'Congratulations'!" He clapped a hand over the one of hers that was still holding the PADD. She felt the first twinge of worry, but didn't let her smile fade.

"For what?"

"Oh, you lucky lady, you," he answered, chuckling.

She raised the cup to her lips, quirked an eyebrow at him in confusion.

He realized she had no idea what he was talking about, his smile faltering.

"The baby, of course!"

Kathryn choked on her coffee, set the cup down on the table and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. He stood quickly, patted her back to try and help, but she held a hand out to stop him, her eyes tearing.

"I'm fine..." she managed between coughs, her voice hoarse. He backed off, stood to the side and watched as she collected herself and stood. She turned to him, an odd expression in her eyes.

"I'm not pregnant, Neelix," she said, picking up the PADD.

He opened his mouth slightly, then closed it, his lower lip twitching slightly.

"You're not?"

She gave him a wry smile.

"No. I'm not." She picked up her mug and drained it, handed it to him and rested a hand on his upper arm.

"Sorry to disappoint you," she stated, an expression of genuine remorse on her face. "But look at it this way." She pulled her hand away, held it up by her face. "That's one less person to pull your attention away from Naomi."

He smiled.

"That's true. I'm sorry, Captain. I suppose I should've checked my source, first."

Kathryn gave him a warm smile.

"It's alright, Neelix." Her command mask slipped into place, her eyes twinkling, her tone kind but firm. "You'll say hello to Ms. Wildman and her mother for me, won't you?"

Neelix saluted her, grinning.

"Yes, ma'am, absolutely. You can count on me!"

Kathryn laughed and patted his shoulder, carrying on the mock exchange.

"Glad to hear it, Ambassador Neelix. As you were."

Neelix nodded, and she stepped around him, heading back to the bridge.

* * *

><p><strong>13:29 hours<strong>

The conference with _Voyager's _senior staff had lasted for an hour. Kathryn had asked them to tell her everything they knew about the rumors flying around her ship, realizing during her interaction with Neelix in the mess hall that there was more than one going around. It turned out that there were dozens. She sat in her ready room with Chakotay now, laughing at all the ridiculous things they'd had to discuss and that she'd refuted, one by one.

She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Oh, did you see Harry's face when he told me what he'd heard in Engineering?"

Chakotay chuckled.

"I thought he was going to pass out."

"Can you imagine?" she asked him. "I mean, really. Me, having a baby with Tom Paris! The lizards were bad enough, thank you _very_ much!" She stood, replicating another cup of coffee for herself and offering one to her First Officer.

"No, thank you."

Kathryn nodded and sat with her coffee.

"My favorite part of the whole meeting was when Tom brought up the rumor that you and Crewman Moore were … how did he put it? Oh yes, 'rocking the Delta Flyer'," Chakotay recalled chuckling. "You looked like the warp core had just exploded behind his head."

Kathryn did her best to maintain smile, but he didn't miss the fleeting moment when it dropped.

He eyed her carefully, then the corners of his mouth dipped slightly.

"Was that part true?"

"No," she answered quickly, bringing the cup to her lips and grimacing again, forgetting that her replicator had it in for her this week.

He studied her a bit longer.

"But you'd like it to be, wouldn't you," he murmured.

She stood, her expression clouded, and recycled the mug before turning back to him, the famous command mask firmly in place.

"I have to finish some paperwork, and I really need to catch up on my logs, Commander."

He clenched his jaw, noting the fact that she was using rank as a buffer, putting it between them like a wall and shutting him out.

"Why can't you ever answer a question straight on?" he asked her, his voice rising.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Commander," she intoned darkly, the warning clear in her voice.

"Oh, don't worry, _Captain_," he replied, standing and clenching his fists. "I won't push it. Wouldn't want the galaxy to fall apart if you started being human." He waited for her to speak, taking in the anger and hurt on her features, watching as she hardened again and remained silent.

"Permission to be dismissed, Captain?"

She nodded once and he turned his back on her, leaving her alone with her thoughts.


	2. The Party

**DISCLAIMER:**

**I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

**I do not own any of the songs used in this chapter. They are, in order of appearance,**

**_Isn't She Lovely _by Stevie Wonder**

**_I Wanna Dance With Somebody _by Whitney Houston**

**and**

**_Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You _by Frankie Valli.**

**That being said, Enjoy!**

-M. O'Halloran

* * *

><p><strong>17:50 hours<strong>

Kathryn sat at her desk in her Ready Room, trying to understand how the hell this day had gone so wrong so quickly. Her replicator was offline while B'Elanna tried to repair it, so a hot cup of coffee was out of the question. She had a stack of PADDs on her desk tall enough to scare away even the most bureaucratically minded Admirals in Starfleet, and her head was killing her. She had no intention of heading back to the Mess Hall for a cup of coffee because she didn't want to bump into Neelix, and she definitely wasn't about to step onto the bridge and run the risk of meeting Chakotay there. The anger and hurt she had seen in his eyes was not something she looked forward to seeing again.

Her doorbell chimed loudly, grating on her nerves. She rubbed her forehead and quelled her irritation before acknowledging the visitor.

"Enter."

She was only slightly surprised to see her helmsman standing there.

"What is it, Tom? I'm very busy," she stated grimly, indicating the pile of PADDs.

Tom stood at attention in front of her desk.

"I wanted to invite you to a little surprise birthday party I'm throwing this evening, for B'Elanna."

Kathryn tried to smile, but only managed a pained grimace.

"I wish I could Tom, but I have a lot of work to get done."

Tom wasn't going to be put off that easily.

"Captain, it would really mean a lot to her if you could be there."  
>He paused. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person today, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying yourself, from spending some time in the Mess Hall with good food, good people, good music, and a good cup of coffee."<p>

He'd said the magic word, and he knew it.

She pursed her lips, quirked an eyebrow. She seemed to mull the idea over in her head before replying with a smile that came a little easier for her this time.

"Alright, Ensign, I suppose it couldn't hurt."

Tom beamed.

"You won't be disappointed, Captain," he replied.

"I hope not," she joked. "You did promise me a good cup of coffee, Mr. Paris."

Tom clasped his hands behind his back.

"Yes, Ma'am, I did. I'll see you at 21:00 hours, then?"

Kathryn nodded.

"Good," the fair haired pilot replied.

* * *

><p><strong>21:01 hours<strong>

The doors to the Mess Hall hissed open and Kathryn slipped inside, dressed in a green silk wrap-around blouse, a pair of off-white slacks, and a matching jacket. She carried a gift for her Chief Engineer in one hand and a bottle of Pinot Noir in the other. Neelix and Tom hurried over, the two taking the bottle and gift from her respectively.

"Good evening, Captain," Neelix greeted her, his exuberance bubbling over. "I've taken the liberty of setting aside a pot of coffee just for you." He offered her an arm. "May I escort you to a table?"

Tom's eyes glittered. He addressed his captain as she took the Talaxian up on his offer.

"I told him that if he didn't get the coffee, I'd be spending another thirty days in the brig."

Kathryn laughed. She noticed a song playing in the background and tried to listen to it.

"_Isn't she pretty?_

_Truly the angel's best!_

_Boy, I'm so happy..."_

She turned to Tom.

"I think I've heard this song before, Mr. Paris."

He nodded.

"It's from the late Twentieth Century. 1976, to be exact."

Kathryn thanked Neelix as they arrived at the pot of coffee and took the mug he handed her.

"The artist was a blind man named Stevie Wonder," Tom finished, leaning against the counter with his elbow, playing with the small, elegantly wrapped box in his hands.

She took a sip of her drink and instantly felt relaxed.

"It's beautiful, Tom."

B'Elanna hurried up behind them and wrapped her arms around her husband.

"Hey, there, Fly-Boy..."

He blushed at the husky tone of her voice, nervously moving to the side so she could see who he was talking to.

"Oh!" she cried. "I didn't see you there, Captain." She punched Tom on the arm. "Why didn't you stop me?" she hissed at him. He leaned in and kissed her.

"You know I can never stop you once you put your mind to something," he answered.

B'Elanna glared at him, and then smiled at their captain.

"I'm sorry about that."

Kathryn grinned.

"It's perfectly alright, B'Elanna. I remember being in love," she reassured her, "and I certainly understand. Besides," she said, laying a hand on the woman's arm. "It's your birthday! You're allowed a little fun."

Tom and B'Elanna glanced at each other, communicating silently, and they both turned back to the small woman before them.

"Thanks," Tom stated, snaking his arm around his wife's waist and pulling her close. He looked down at the woman of his dreams.

"You ready?"

B'Elanna nodded.

Tom turned back to Kathryn, waving as they walked away and calling over his shoulder.

"Enjoy the party, Captain!"

She lifted her coffee mug in a toast to them and began surveying the crowd as the music changed.

"_Clock strikes upon the hour,_

_and the sun begins to fade._

_Still enough time to figure out_

_how to chase my blues away..."_

A tug on the back of her jacket made her turn to see little Naomi Wildman standing beside her. She smiled warmly down at the girl.

"Hello, there, Miss Wildman. Are you having fun?"  
>"Hello, Captain. Yes, thank you," the child replied sweetly, then looked like she was about to say something. She hesitated.<p>

Kathryn laid a hand on her shoulder, crouched down so they were eye to eye.

"What is it, Naomi?"

"Well..." The half-Katarian girl shifted nervously. "I wanted to ask you something, but..."

Kathryn furrowed her brow.

"Yes?"

Naomi fidgeted a little harder.

"I wanted to make a toast later on, but I'm nervous."

Kathryn smiled.

"Ah," she replied, nodding in understanding, leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, "I'll tell you a secret." She looked round as though checking for eavesdroppers and crooked her finger.

Naomi stepped closer, her ear near the captain's mouth.

"I always feel a bit nervous before speaking in front of a large group."

Naomi straightened, an expression on her face that said she wasn't buying it.

"You?" she asked, a hand on her hip. "You're the captain! You talk in front of people all the time!"

Kathryn nodded stoically.

"Yep. And every time, I get this feeling like there are butterflies in my stomach. I wonder if what I'm going to say is the right thing, or I worry that I'll forget what I had planned and end up looking like a fool." She raised a finger. "My third year at the Academy, I was supposed to give this huge speech to the entire class. I had this horrible professor who expected nothing but perfection, and I was so scared that I ended up staying awake the entire night before, writing and re-writing the entire speech. And you know what?"

Naomi couldn't help it; her curiosity was piqued.

"What?"

"I stood up in front of that class the next day, and I forgot my notes."

Naomi gasped.  
>"What did you do?"<p>

Kathryn narrowed her gaze playfully.

"I fainted."

Naomi giggled.

"That's right," Kathryn continued, moving her arm out in a sweeping motion as though to indicate a lot of people. "In front of the entire class, Kathryn Janeway fainted." She dropped her arm. "I was mortified! I thought I was going to be the laughingstock of the entire Academy!"

Naomi laughed harder.

"What happened?" she managed.

"I went to class the following week, and was given the opportunity to try again. No one laughed," she recalled, her tone serious, "and when I was finished everyone applauded."

Naomi sobered.

"What if I forget what I want to say?"

Kathryn put a hand on the girl's shoulder squeezed gently.

"You smile, hold your head up high, and proudly inform everyone here that you would like to give a toast, and that you wish the birthday girl the best."

"What if I can't remember that?" Naomi asked worriedly.

Kathryn smiled warmly.

"Then you smile, hold your head up high, and you proudly inform them, 'I've forgotten what I wanted to say'."

Naomi giggled again. Kathryn smiled and tapped her nose with her index finger.

"We captains are made of sterner stuff than most. Future captains and captain's assistants are no exception."

"Thank you, Captain." Naomi wrapped her arms around Kathryn in a tight, warm embrace. The captain hugged her back, and the girl hurried away to find her mother. Kathryn stood slowly, turned, and poured herself more coffee. She swayed to the music, walking slowly to a table laid out with food. She felt a pair of eyes boring in to her and looked round, trying to identify the culprit. She stiffened when she saw her first officer slumped in a chair nearby, a glass of amber liquid in his hand, a bottle of the same stuff within arm's reach, and a fiery look in his eyes.

* * *

><p>The song changed again and Chakotay drained his glass, slamming it back down on the table. He poured more of the drink for himself and tried not to look at <em>her, <em>tried not to listen to the song that was currently expressing what he knew he never could.

"_You're just too good to be true,_

_Can't take my eyes off of you._

_You'd be like heaven to touch._

_I wanna hold you so much._

_At long last, love has arrived,_

_And I thank God I'm alive._

_You're just too good to be true,_

_Can't take my eyes off of you."_

He looked over and saw _her _watching him.

"Oh, Hell," he muttered. She was coming over to him, her face bearing a frown of concern.

"_Pardon the way that I stare._

_There's nothing else to compare._

_The sight of you leaves me weak._

_There are no words left to speak,_

_But if you feel like I feel,_

_Please let me know that it's real._

_You're just too good to be true._

_Can't take my eyes off of you."_

She sat in the chair across from him and turned the bottle so she could read the label. The wrinkles between her eyebrows became more defined as her frown deepened. Apparently she didn't approve of the liquor. He steeled himself for her reprimand.

Her first words to him after their argument in her Ready Room, however, were not about the bottle.

"I'm worried about you," she murmured.

"_I love you, baby,_

_And if it's quite alright,_

_I need you, baby,_

_To warm a lonely night._

_I love you, baby._

_Trust in me when I say:_

_Oh, pretty baby,_

_Don't bring me down, I pray._

_Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay_

_And let me love you, baby._

_Let me love you."_

He lifted the bottle and started to pour himself another glass, fully intending to be drunk by the time the night was over. He had the following day off.

She reached out and took the bottle from him. He scowled at her.

"Did you hear what I said?" she asked him.

He didn't answer her at first, just listened to the words of his heart sung by a man who had been dead for centuries.

"_You're just too good to be true._

_Can't take my eyes off of you._

_You'd be like Heaven to touch._

_I wanna hold you so much._

_At long last love has arrived_

_And I thank God I'm alive._

_You're just too good to be true._

_Can't take my eyes off of you."_

Her voice brought him back. Insistent, coaxing.

"Chakotay?"

"I heard you," he snapped, "I just don't know what to say."

He met her eyes and immediately wished he hadn't. She looked like she was about to cry.

He just sat there, spinning the empty tumbler in his hand. He didn't want to be sitting there with her anymore, but couldn't bring himself to leave her.

"_I love you, baby,_

_And if it's quite alright,_

_I need you, baby,_

_To warm a lonely night._

_I love you, baby._

_Trust in me when I say:_

_Oh, pretty baby,_

_Don't bring me down, I pray._

_Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..."_

As the song faded, he looked up at her again. He didn't know whether to be relieved or to feel angrier when he saw that famous command mask back in place. He realized she'd been speaking to him.

"...and I don't know why you're sulking," she was saying, "but drinking the night away isn't going to win my sympathy." She stood.

"I don't want your sympathy, Kathryn." He stood as well, leaving the glass on the table.

"What, then?" She was losing her patience with him. "What _do_ you want, Commander?"

He shook his head.

_I want what you refuse to give, _he thought.

"I want..." he paused, searching for the right way to say what he wanted to say. She waited, her eyes searching his for some idea of what he was thinking.

"I just want you to be happy," he finished. He stood straighter, almost at attention. "Now if you'll excuse me, Captain," he began, only to be interrupted by the voice of their Morale Officer.

"If I could have everyone's attention please," Neelix called, "we're about to open presents!"

Chakotay turned away, the need to get as far away from her as he could finally overpowering his need to stay close enough to touch her.

* * *

><p>She toyed with the bottle in her hand as she watched his retreating back. She knew what he wanted. And she knew that she could never give it to him. After he'd told her that ridiculous story on New Earth about an Angry Warrior, she knew how he felt about her. She knew that he didn't think her reasons for staying apart held any merit. She also knew that there was nothing she could do about it.<p>

She held the liquor up by the neck and stared hard at it.

"Oh, to hell with it," she muttered finally. She finished the coffee and poured some of the liquid into her coffee mug, took a hearty gulp. Shore leave couldn't come fast enough.


	3. The Lieutenant's Plan

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

* * *

><p>Chakotay wandered to the far edge of the room and leaned against the wall. He thought about a conversation he'd had with a lieutenant earlier that afternoon.<p>

Chakotay had sat at a long table near two men, whom he recognized as Lieutenants Monroe and Stadig. Monroe wore command red and had served on the USS Equinox with Captain Ransom. Stadig wore operations gold, and was one of the original Voyager crewmembers. Chakotay ate in silence at first, and had overheard part of their conversation.

"_Thomas, you don't understand," Stadig whispered loudly._

"_I understand perfectly, Albert," Monroe hissed back. "You're a coward. You don't want the opportunity, fine; you don't have to take it, but don't make it sound like I don't know what I'm doing!"_

_Stadig balled his fist on the table, ran a hand through his blond hair.  
>"It's too dangerous, even for you. You think they won't find out?"<em>

_Monroe looked round before leaning over the table and snarling at the other lieutenant through gritted teeth.  
>"We'll continue this conversation later."<em>

_He stood and carried his tray to the recycler._

_Chakotay took this opportunity to speak up.  
>"Problems, Lieutenant?" he asked Stadig.<em>

"_No, sir," the man replied, sitting up a little straighter._

"_That's not what I heard," Chakotay countered, both hands on the tabletop. "It sure sounded to me like there were problems."_

_Stadig hesitated, running his hand through his hair again._

"_Lieutenant Monroe giving you trouble?" Chakotay asked him._

"_No, sir…" Stadig repeated. "It's not … It's just…" Stadig stood, fidgeted nervously. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"_

_Chakotay stood, nodded.  
>Stadig relaxed slightly.<em>

"_Look, sir, Monroe has somethin' planned, somethin' that just ain't sittin' right with me. He's been actin' shifty all week, now, and he wants to get me in on it, and I just…"_

_Chakotay held a hand out to silence him. This was not a conversation he wanted to have in the Mess Hall._

"_Let's continue this conversation in my office, Lieutenant." _

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly brought him out of his memories.

"Lost in thought, Commander?" Harry Kim observed.

"Something like that," Chakotay replied, aware that he was a bit more intoxicated than he should be in front of the crew.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you didn't hear my question, then."

Chakotay smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, Harry. What did you ask?"

"I just wondered if you were planning on joining the rest of the group. B'Elanna's about to open her gifts."

Chakotay forced himself to maintain his smile.  
>"No, thanks. I think I'll stay here. I appreciate the offer, though, Harry."<p>

The Ensign nodded and walked away, leaving Chakotay to his musings.

"_Do you know what Monroe is planning to do?" Chakotay asked, once they were both seated in chairs in his office._

"_Yeah, I know a small bit, but it isn't somethin' I'm too keen on bein' a part of," Stadig replied. "He says he wants to trick some lady into goin' somewhere with him. He was talkin' about takin' the Delta Flyer without permission, explorin' the M-Class planet with her, teachin' her a good lesson…"_

_Chakotay leaned forward, rested his arms on his knees._

"_Do you know who she is? This woman he mentioned?"_

_Stadig shrugged._

"_No, sir, just that he says she's a red-head with an attitude bigger than the quadrant itself, and I know she wears command red. He says she needs to be shown how to behave, and that he can break her in. I didn't like that talk too much."_

_Chakotay set his jaw, a knot forming in his stomach. He only knew of one red-head in command red with an attitude that big._

"_I don't like that kind of talk either, Lieutenant."_

Chakotay remembered how he'd dismissed Stadig, had gone straight to Tuvok and discussed the exchange with him.

"_What do you think, Tuvok?"_

"_I think, at this stage in our investigation, it would be illogical to alert the Captain," Tuvok replied. "As we do not have the necessary information to either prove nor disprove Lieutenant Stadig's claims, it is not necessary to bring this to her attention."_

_Chakotay nodded._

Loud laughter cut into his reverie again. He looked up, and realized that they were about ready to begin. B'Elanna sat on a chair in the middle of the room, a pile of presents atop the table beside her.

"Alright, Lieutenant Torres, let's see what we've got!" Neelix rubbed his hands together excitedly and was perusing the pile for a gift to hand to her. He lifted a large, thin box wrapped in red paper and read the tag.

"This one is from Commander Chakotay!"

B'Elanna took the box and shook it gently, holding it up to her ear.

"What is it?" she asked excitedly.

Chakotay gave her a small smile from his vantage point and just shook his head.

B'Elanna cocked an eyebrow.

"I guess I'll just have to open it and see." She ripped the paper off of the package, revealing a black gift box. She opened it gently and gasped. She lifted a large beaded dream-catcher out of the tissue paper and held it up to the light. The red feathers danced and swayed with the movement, the small black beads on the red web glittered, and the red suede used around the willow frame was soft and supple.

"Oh, Chakotay," she breathed. "It's beautiful!"

"I'm glad you like it. I thought you could hang it over your bed."

B'Elanna stood and hurried over to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Thank you, I love it."

"You're welcome."

She wandered back to her seat and put the dreamcatcher back in its box, handing the box to Tom for safekeeping.

Neelix handed her another gift, a slightly larger, thicker one, wrapped in yellow paper with a silver bow.

"This one is from Naomi Wildman and her mother," he told her.

B'Elanna thanked them and tugged on the bow, peeled the paper back and lifted the cover.  
>"Oh!" She reached into the box and held up a silver tool. "A new hyperspanner!" She smiled at the two blondes warmly. "It's perfect."<p>

"Icheb mentioned that your last one broke, so we got you a new one," Naomi supplied, her hands clasped behind her back.

"Well, did Icheb happen to mention that the old one broke when she threw it at the wall?" Tom asked lightly, earning a round of laughter from the surrounding crew. B'Elanna swatted him on the arm playfully. She put the hyperspanner back in the box and passed it over to him to make room for the next gift. This one was a simple long white gift bag.

"It's from me," Harry shouted from the back of the crowd.

B'Elanna peeked inside, her smile growing larger. She lifted out a replicated bottle of Klingon firewine.  
>"Thanks, Starfleet!"<p>

Tom whistled, taking the bottle from her.

"Anytime," Harry replied, raising his glass in a toast.

After another half hour, all the gifts had been opened save one.

Neelix tapped B'Elanna on the shoulder and handed her the last package. It was the small box Tom had taken from their Captain earlier.

"This one is from the Captain," Neelix announced, making Kathryn smile as she came to stand at B'Elanna's side, laying a hand on the woman's shoulder.

B'Elanna pulled at the gold wrapping paper, smoothing it out over her lap.

"This paper is beautiful, Captain," Neelix observed. "Where did you find it?"

"It was in the database, Neelix," Kathryn explained.

"Ah."

B'Elanna finally opened the box, and gasped again.

"Oh, Captain!"

A delicate necklace lay atop deep purple velvet, with a chain made up of tiny links and a small pendant in the shape of the Klingon Empire's insignia. Engraved in English, Spanish, and Klingonese on the pendant's top segment was the word "beauty"; on the lower left segment in the same three languages was the word "strength"; on the lower right, the word "grace". Kathryn handed her mug to Neelix, gingerly lifted the necklace, and unclasped it. B'Elanna reached up and maneuvered her hair out of the Captain's way.

"This is made from the recycled baakonite of a bat'leth," Janeway told her Chief Engineer, fastening it around her neck and straightening again.

B'Elanna fingered the pendant, fighting tears. She stood and gave her Captain a warm hug.

"Thank you, Captain."

Kathryn smiled warmly, laid a hand on B'Elanna's back.

"You're welcome, B'Elanna."

B'Elanna sat back down.

"Well, that's all the gifts," Neelix crowed. "Let's have a hand for the birthday girl!"

The attending guests applauded, and Tom kissed her gently.

Chakotay took advantage of the dispersing crowd and slipped out quietly.

The music started again, and Kathryn took her mug back from Neelix. She looked round, and noticed that her First Officer had made himself scarce. B'Elanna tapped her on the shoulder.

"I wanted to thank you again for the necklace, Captain," she began when her Captain had turned around, "and I wanted to ask you about Chakotay. I'm worried about him."

_That makes two of us, _Kathryn thought. She laid a reassuring hand on the woman's arm, squeezed it gently.

"I've noticed his behavior this evening has been a bit odd," she stated aloud.

"That's what I wanted to ask you about; I saw you talking to him earlier. Did he give you any explanation?"

Kathryn sighed.  
>"No, I'm afraid he didn't."<p>

B'Elanna crossed her arms.  
>"I guess I'll have to try and have a talk with him." She turned to the door, and then faced Janeway again. "Thanks again, Captain."<p>

Kathryn smiled.  
>"Of course, B'Elanna."<p>

Kathryn watched as the Lieutenant found her husband, whispered something in his ear. After a quick kiss, the Chief Engineer was out the door and on her way to confront her old friend.

Janeway wished her luck.

_She'll need it, _she thought, _if his recent attitude with me is any kind of indication of what's to come._


	4. The Breaking Point

****DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.****

* * *

><p><strong>09:00<strong>

Kathryn shifted in her command seat, uncrossing her legs and re-crossing them. The bridge was quiet. They were still a week away from the M-Class planet, Chakotay had the day off, Harry and Tom were behaving, and Tuvok was being...well, Tuvok. She was getting bored. It didn't help that her neck and upper back were cramping up. There was a nerve pinched between her shoulder blades, contributing to her brewing headache, and therefore to her growing irritability. She shifted again, planting both feet on the deck, crossing her right arm over her left shoulder and cupping that elbow with her left hand. She tried massaging her shoulder, her neck, but only succeeded in sending a sharp stabbing pain down her right arm, barely stifling the resultant whimper. Of course, that got everyone's attention. Tom swiveled round in his seat, shot her a questioning look.

"Everything okay, Captain?" he asked.

Nodding wasn't an option.

"Yes. Thank you, Mr. Paris, " she managed through gritted teeth, her hand clenching her shoulder.

His snort told her that he didn't buy it.

"You know, the Doc -"

"Tom," she cut in, her tone light as she closed her eyes and dropped her head back.

"Yeah?"

She continued with a half smile tugging at her lips.

"Eyes on the road."

Tom didn't turn back to his console at first, just eyed her, then met Tuvok's eyes. The Vulcan looked down at the Captain, returned to his work.

The bridge fell silent, several minutes passing in rather uncomfortable silence.

After what felt like hours, Harry cleared his throat.

Kathryn's eyes flew open at the sound, and she flinched at the sudden onslaught of light. She knew he was trying to be quiet, but it seemed so obnoxiously loud! It felt like it was cleaving her head in two.

She stood, her voice weary as she spoke.

"I'll be in my ready room. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

* * *

><p><em>Chakotay hurried to the bridge, the corridors of <em>Voyager_ almost deserted. He nearly collided with Paris._

_"Where is everyone?" he asked._

_"She didn't make it," the helmsman replied stoically._

_"Who?"_

_"She could have. If you'd done your job," Tom began, "she might have lived."_

_Chakotay backed down the hall away from him, his heart pounding in his ears, panic and bile rising in his chest._

_"It's your fault she's dead!" Tom's voice followed him, almost mocking him. _

_His feet couldn't carry him far or fast enough. He had to get to her, to the bridge. She was on duty, she couldn't be dead. She had to be there!_

_He rounded the next corner and found himself in the Mess Hall, filled with the crew, her crew, mourning in their full dress uniforms, facing the bay windows and someone speaking._

_"Captain Janeway was the closest thing to a mother a young ensign like me could've hoped to have, way out here in the Delta Quadrant," Harry Kim was saying._

_Everyone in the room turned to face Chakotay, standing in the rear._

_"And it's your fault she died, Commander," the Ensign finished. "You killed her! You killed her!"_

_"No..." he whispered, sweating._

_"You killed her! You killed her!" Everyone was chanting now._

_"No!" He turned and ran, the crew's voices in his ears._

_"I needed you, Chakotay," her voice called to him softly, with so much pain, disappointment, and sadness that it broke his heart. "I needed you, and you let me down. Why?" _

_He stopped running, shouted at the bulkheads around him._

_"NO!"_

_She was in front of him then, no matter where he turned, surrounding him, in a torn and dirty dress. Blood caked the side of her head, bruises littered her face and arms._

_"Why, Chakotay?"_

_He felt his stomach drop into his shoes, a cold claw gripping his heart._

_She reached out for him, begging, pleading._

_"Why did you let him kill me?"_

_He couldn't get away, couldn't run, couldn't breathe, couldn't see- there was nowhere to go and she was calling him, crying, screaming, and it was his fault, he killed her, he killed her, he killed her- _

Chakotay woke violently, sitting bolt upright. Sweat poured off of him, he was gasping for breath. He ran a hand over his face.

"A dream," he murmured to himself, getting his bearings. "Just a dream."

* * *

><p>"Won't be much longer now..." the voice whispered, logically. "No, not much longer. She must be taught. No, you don't understand... it's the only way... come on!"<p>

The speaker stood from his crouch, walked across the dimly lit quarters and yanked open a drawer, continuing the search for reprieve.

"Have to hurry... because I have to. Don't you see? She must learn, she can't lie like that. Lies are bad, dangerous. They cause trouble. Where did you put it? Yes, exactly...now you understand. Not nice to tell lies, to spill other people's secrets. They're mine, she gave them away. Not nice, shouldn't do that...she'll only end up hurting herself, if we don't. She'll never learn...there!"

The drawer slammed shut. A blade was drawn over toned muscle, rending flesh and soothing desperation.

"She couldn't just keep her mouth shut. She lied! She told him everything, stole our secrets...she must learn. Yes, I can teach her. I have to. Yes, today. I will. All for you."

* * *

><p><strong>11:46<strong>

Chakotay sat in Tuvok's office, the Vulcan beside him with a PADD in his hand. Chakotay had discovered the PADD on a table in Sandrine's bar. He'd gone there to try to forget his nightmare; however, given the PADD's violent contents, he wondered if that nightmare would become reality.

Tuvok finished reading and laid the PADD down on his desk, steepling his fingers.

"Well?" Chakotay prompted.

Tuvok's voice was grave.  
>"The text indicates that the Captain's life is in danger."<p>

Chakotay nodded wearily, in agreement.

"Any suggestions as to how we should proceed, Lieutenant?"

Tuvok frowned.  
>"I'm afraid we must inform the Captain."<p>

Chakotay nodded again.  
>"What about a security detail?" he asked.<p>

"I will organize a team and schedule," Tuvok replied.

"And I'll let Kathryn know," the First Officer stated, standing and gathering his resolve for the coming conversation.

* * *

><p>Kathryn stepped off of the turbolift, rubbing a sore spot on her neck gingerly. She'd spent what was easily the most stressful half hour of her day thus far in Sick Bay with the Doctor, getting a lecture on proper self care. Only when Chakotay hailed her to the bridge to receive an urgent incoming message did he (finally) administer a hypospray to ease her headache.<p>

"Captain," Seven of Nine called from a few paces away, striding up to her quickly.

Kathryn smiled. She greeted the tall blonde with a nod without slowing her pace.  
>"Seven."<p>

"I wish to discuss the nature of humanity."

Kathryn cringed internally.  
>"Can it wait, Seven? I'm on my way to the bridge. I don't have time to stop and chat just now."<p>

The ex-drone thought for a moment, and turned to her captain.  
>"The matter is not pressing. We will continue our discussion when you have finished your tasks for the evening."<p>

Kathryn gave her a dry half-smile accompanied by a quirked eyebrow, and they parted ways as the doors to _Voyager_'s bridge hissed open.

Chakotay stood in front of his command chair, attempting to apologize to a rather large and ugly alien on the viewscreen.  
>"We scanned your planet, Ambassador, and didn't find any life-signs. I assure you, we mean you no harm."<p>

"Caring not," the alien hissed loudly, his scales glistening like red rubies. A forked tongue was flitting around jagged teeth, and black eyes set in vertically shaped, slit-like eyesockets glittered. "Large, threatening to us, your ship is. No warning, you did giving us of your arrival. Army of Zatkak, preparing to fight and people of Zatkak, panicking! Speaking to your captain, I am wishing!"

Janeway stepped over, laid a hand on Chakotay's chest in silent thanks and addressed the irate alien.  
>"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. I apologize for the confusion, but you see-"<p>

"Captain you are not!" The alien's scales gleamed, changing color.

They were now black as well, and Kathryn couldn't help but think that he looked like a giant, deformed beetle.

"Female, you are!" he continued.

She nodded.  
>"Yes, I am female. And I assure you, I am Captain of this vessel."<p>

The alien hissed loudly, bared his teeth.  
>"Tricks! Treachery! Female, leading does not!"<p>

Chakotay tensed beside her, and she fought against her own desire to snap at the bigot on her viewscreen. She drew herself up to her full height, and spoke again.  
>"Please, Ambassador..." she trailed off, allowing him to introduce himself.<p>

"Kazat," he supplied coldly.

"Ambassador Kazat," she repeated, "what reason would I have to lie to you?"

Kazat made a sound like metal against stone.  
>"Female, you are. Cheating, tricking, stealing, are what you knowing. Female, trusting cannot. Dangerous, female is. Lying you are!"<p>

Kathryn felt her patience wearing thin. She changed the subject.  
>"Perhaps you would like to view our ship for yourself. You will see that we mean you no harm."<p>

Ambassador Kazat bared his teeth again, flicked his forked tongue at her.  
>"Trusting you, being unwise. Male, trusting is more reliable."<p>

Chakotay spoke up.  
>"She is our captain, Ambassador. We follow her command."<p>

Kathryn was grateful for his self-control.

Kazat blinked, an inner opaque lid closing vertically before his outer lid narrowed in the same manner.  
>"Truth, you are speaking?"<p>

Chakotay nodded.  
>"Yes, I'm telling the truth."<p>

Kazat scrutinized Kathryn, then made the metal-on-stone sound again. It seemed to be his species' version of a sigh.  
>"Diminutive, small, she is. Being better, perhaps. Not so dangerous."<p>

Janeway distinctly heard a snort from the helm, where Tom Paris sat. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, and she shook her head internally at Tom's candor.  
>"Will you accept my offer, Ambassador? I can offer you a tour of my vessel, and would be honored to have you join me for dinner."<p>

Kazat made a series of clicking sounds, then held up a claw.  
>"Making a mistake, perhaps I am. Joining you, assessing your ship, I will. Later making arrangements, and with males, I will."<p>

Kathryn nodded.

"Understanding this, female; respecting you, being different from acknowledging command of yours. Acknowledging, I am." He leaned forward and bared his teeth again. "Acknowledging _only_."

The view-screen plunged into sudden darkness, leaving Kathryn with a feeling of increasing disquiet.


	5. Drawing the Line

****DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.****

* * *

><p><strong>11:51<strong>

"Wow," Tom murmured, spinning round in his chair. "So, he was nice."

Janeway smiled at him, turned to Chakotay and raised her eyebrow.

"Don't let the Captain catch you working on your day off, Chakotay."

He leaned forward and smiled at her.

"She's actually not so bad, once you get to know her," he joked. "Word around the Jeffries Tubes is that it's her First Officer you have to worry about."

Her smile grew.

"Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"And I think it's better if we do it in private."

She nodded, her concern showing, as she turned command of the bridge over to Tuvok.

They crossed the bridge together and entered her Ready Room, Chakotay settling on her couch.

"I would offer you something to drink..." she began apologetically, letting her voice trail off, gesturing to her replicator.

He smiled at her.

"Replicator acting up again?"

She laughed drily, a kind of harsh bark, and sat beside him.

"If that isn't the understatement of the century... We can't even fix the cause of the problem until we touch down." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her forehead in her hand.

"And of course, now that has been delayed."

"I wouldn't worry about it," he reassured her. "We'll figure it out together. We can last another week."

She looked up at him gratefully, leaned back against the couch.

"You're right," she admitted, patting his knee. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?"

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Chakotay leaned forward again, waiting for the Captain to speak. She now knew about the PADD he'd found and what it contained, as well as his interactions with Lieutenant Stadig, his thoughts about Lieutenant Monroe, and his conference with Tuvok.<p>

She sat facing him, concern in her eyes, with her hands folded together and her elbow resting on the back of the couch.

"Do you think Lieutenant Monroe is the owner of the PADD?" she asked.

He sighed.

"I can't say for sure. From what we know, it certainly looks and sounds that way."

She pursed her lips.

"Chakotay, whoever this person is needs our help. They're ill."

"I know," he replied calmly. "We're working on it."

She nodded, looked down at her hands.

"So...Tuvok is planning a security detail for me, eh?" she asked with a hint of mischief in her voice, looking back up at him.

"Yes," he answered firmly, smiling. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't attempt to give them the slip."

"Me?" she asked in mock indignation.

"You know you're crafty, Kathryn," he explained, teasing. "And besides, as the Ambassador said, 'female, trusting cannot.'"

She chuckled.

"You're very funny, Chakotay," she intoned, waggling a finger at him.

"Although," he mused aloud, his tone now serious, "he is right about one thing. You're really not so dangerous. I'm sure Tuvok's security team will have no problem dragging-"

"Oh!" She gave him a playful push, laughing again. "You're really more trouble than your worth!"

* * *

><p><strong>13:03<strong>

"Captain to the bridge," Harry's voice called. "You're receiving a transmission- it's the Ambassador."

Kathryn put down her cup of "better than coffee" substitute that Neelix had made her and swallowed the mouthful.

"On my way, Harry."

The doors to her Ready Room hissed open, and she nodded at the two men on either side of her door that made up her security detail.

They stood at attention and saluted her on her way by.

"At ease, gentlemen," she called over her shoulder, coming to a stop in front of her command chair. "On screen, Harry."

Harry Kim nodded and entered the command, bringing Kazat's face up on _Voyager's _viewscreen.

"Ambassador Kazat," Janeway greeted him.

"Captain," he replied, a hint of steel still coloring his tone. "Speaking to male, making arrangements, I am wishing."

Janeway acknowledged him and beckoned to Tuvok.

"This is my Chief of Security, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok," she introduced the Vulcan as he stepped over to her, holding a hand just behind his back to present him to the alien. "You can make arrangements with him."

"Where the male being, speaking with earlier, I did?" Kazat asked tersely.

"My First Officer, Chakotay. He is not available. Lieutenant Commander Tuvok is more than capable of working with you on this matter."

Kazat seemed to consider the statement, making low-pitched humming noises as he stared at the two humanoids.

"Working with Too-vak, I doing. Arrangements made, being aboard ship of mine."

Janeway nodded.

"That's fine. Our protocols dictate that he cannot go alone. I'd like to send just one other male along with him. Is that acceptable?"

Kazat grunted.

"Acceptable, yes. One other."

"Good. Thank you. When shall I send them over?"

"Contacting you in one hour, I doing. Ready, you must being, or threat you being, I assuming."

"I understand, Ambassador. We'll speak to you in one hour. Janeway out."

Kazat nodded, then disappeared.

Janeway let her shoulders drop a bit, relieved that the exchange was over. She turned to Neelix, standing just behind the railing that separated the command pit from the level above.

"What can you tell me about his species?"

"Well," he began tentatively, "the Zatkak aren't exactly the nicest people you'll ever meet..."

"I'll say," Tom interjected.

"But," Neelix continued, "I do happen to know a few people in government. Perhaps I could use my relationship with them to... sort of move things in the right direction for you."

Janeway smiled.

"That'd be wonderful, Mr. Neelix, thank you." She turned to speak to Tuvok, but the Talaxian's voice stopped her again.

"Uh, Captain, if I may, there are, uh, a few more things you should know," he informed her, walking around the railing.

"You mean besides the fact that he obviously has an issue with women?" Tom asked.

Janeway ignored him.

"I'm listening," she said, warily.

"Well, uh, first of all, they don't like singing. Or whistling. Or humming." He patted his stomach. "Eh, it's really music in general. They believe it's a form of witchcraft," he whispered behind his hand, conspiratorially.

Janeway raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Oh, and they don't eat dairy products, because... uh, well, because they don't have anything like it on their world."

"I'll take that into consideration," Janeway stated, an amused grin curling her lips.

"And, uh, they prefer low lighting. They live in these elaborate underground homes made entirely of a specific ore called Rhydrine, found only on their planet . And oh, it is just beautiful! When the light hits it just right, you can see-"

"Mr. Neelix." Janeway stopped him, holding up a hand. "Perhaps we should go sit down in my Ready Room and talk, hmm?"

* * *

><p><strong>16:23<strong>

After a brief meeting with Neelix, Tuvok, and Harry Kim, Janeway sent the Ensign and Tactical Officer to the Ambassador's ship. Armed with a PADD-ful of information regarding the Zatkak people, she felt confident that she was prepared for the Ambassador's requests. Now, however, after hearing those requests, she was no longer sure.

"He wants me to _what?"_

Janeway's voice was dangerously low, her eyes stormy.

"He has requested that you kneel upon meeting him, that you avoid eye contact at all times, and that you do not speak unless addressed," Tuvok repeated from his position in front of her desk.

"I hope you told him, 'no'."

"I informed him we would be unable to meet those terms. He was not pleased, but did not insist."

Janeway pursed her lips and reached for her coffee mug.

"I should think not. What else, Tuvok?"

The Vulcan consulted his PADD.

"In order to comply with his environmental needs, lighting aboard the ship must be reduced by thirteen percent, and the ambient temperature must remain above twenty-six degrees, Celsius."

"We can manage that," she conceded, holding the mug in both hands. "We'll be a little uncomfortable, but we'll manage."

"He has also requested that two of his men come with him."

"I would expect nothing less." She took a sip of her coffee substitute.

"Indeed." Tuvok tucked the PADD behind his back and stood at parade rest. "The Ambassador and his escorts will arrive at 09:00 tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, Tuvok. Have you made any progress in tracking down whoever made those threats?"

"I have not." Tuvok did not look pleased with himself.

"However, I have been busy with preparations for the Ambassador's visit; therefore, I have not been able to continue my investigation. I'll resume it as soon as possible."

Kathryn nodded.

"Sounds good, Lieutenant. Oh, send in Seven of Nine, won't you?"

He nodded and left.

Janeway sighed.

_Well_, she mused, addressing the contents of her mug, _today certainly could've been much worse._ She laughed quietly. _He could've given me Leola root tea. You're not exactly French Roast...but you'll have to do._


	6. Putting the Pieces Together

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Trek. That's all Paramount. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

* * *

><p><strong>16:32<strong>

The doorbell to Kathryn's Ready Room chimed and she swallowed her mouthful of coffee in a bit of a hurry.

"Yes, come in," she called.

Seven of Nine strode in and stopped just inside the door.

"Seven," Janeway greeted her, standing.

"You wished to see me, Captain?" the ex-drone asked.

"Yes." Janeway gestured to the couch, inviting the blonde to sit and knowing full well what her answer would probably be. "I thought we might discuss the nature of humanity."

Seven nodded.

"I will stand, thank you."

Janeway let her hand fall to her side and sat on the couch, her coffee in hand. A sense of slight déjà vu washed over her, and she hoped this conversation wouldn't be as awkward as their last one.

"Which aspect of humanity are we discussing today, Seven?" she asked, keeping her tone light and crossing her legs.

"Conversation."

Janeway raised an eyebrow and lowered it.

"You'll have to be a bit more specific than that, I'm afraid."

"The Doctor tells me that a conversation is a form of interaction that takes place between two or more people."

Janeway nodded.

"More or less, yes."

"A conversation requires at least one other person. Is that not correct?"

"Well, usually," Janeway replied, running a hand through her hair.

Seven raised her ocular implant.

"Explain," she demanded.

"Well, sometimes one holds a conversation with oneself, a lot of times as a reminder to do something. It's an external representation of an internal process."

"Does that process resemble one side of a dialogue?"

Janeway leaned forward and uncrossed her legs, a thought suddenly striking her.

"These questions are awfully specific, Seven. What's this about?"

"I recently overheard someone having a 'conversation' with himself."

Kathryn leaned back again.

"Maybe it was just a conversation they were having with someone over the comm system."

Seven resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she took a deep breath before continuing, her tone slightly harsher.

"I have already eliminated that possibility. There were no open comm lines at the time." She paused, then added quietly as an afterthought, "Perhaps _this_ conversation would be more productive with the Doctor."

Janeway raised an eyebrow again.

"I'm sorry if I'm not answering your questions to your liking. If you would prefer to talk to the Doctor about this," she stated, gesturing to the door, "I'm sure he's not too busy to accommodate you."

Seven looked down momentarily.

"My impatience has offended you. I apologize. That was not my intention."

Janeway took a sip of her coffee substitute.

"It's alright." She held her mug in both hands, tapped a finger against its side, waiting. She stiffened suddenly, remembering something from her conversation with Chakotay.

_Could this mystery person be the one making those threats?_

"Seven," she said aloud, standing, "Did this person talk about a PADD?"

"No," Seven replied quickly.

"What about teaching someone a lesson?"

Seven inclined her head.

"The individual spoke of a female. 'She must learn'," she quoted.

Kathryn set her jaw. She put the coffee down and tapped her commbadge.

"Janeway to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here, Captain."

"I think Seven has some information pertinent to your investigation."

* * *

><p><strong>18:32<strong>

Kathryn checked her chronometer and ordered the computer to shut her lights off before exiting her Ready Room.

"You have the bridge, Ensign," she announced on her way through, finally turning the bridge over to Harry Kim for Beta shift, her two-man security detail close behind.

The turbo-lift doors hissed shut after them, and after a brief ride, deposited them on deck two. Once her detail had made a sweep of the room, Kathryn stepped into the Mess Hall and made her way over to Neelix.

"Ah! Captain," the little man called, his apron and chef's hat clashing horribly with his chosen attire. "What can I get for you today?"

"Dinner, Neelix. What are you serving?" Kathryn replied, eyeing a gurgling pot on the cooking range and standing on tip toe to get a peek inside.

"Today we're serving something requested by Lieutenant Stadig, a dish called 'Clam Chowder'." Neelix stood behind the pot she was eyeing and stirred the chowder in question, a somewhat apologetic look on his Talaxian features. "I didn't have any Earth clams, so I found the next best thing and-"

Kathryn dropped back onto her feet and held up a hand, grinning. It was probably better that she not know how the concoction was made.

"It sounds lovely, Neelix. I'll have a bowl of that, please, and a cup of coffee."

Neelix beamed.

"One bowl of clam chowder and some coffee, coming right up, Captain! Why don't you go sit down, and I'll bring it over."

Kathryn thanked the Talaxian and let her eyes wander around the room. She chose a seat near the bay windows, and sat with her back to them. She couldn't get her conversation with Seven of Nine out of her head. Someone in B'Elanna's department was struggling and needed help. She'd asked B'Elanna to keep an eye and ear out, and to alert Chakotay and herself if anything out of the ordinary came up, but that wasn't enough to assuage her worry. She worried whenever one of her crew was unwell.

Neelix handed her a tray with her chowder and coffee on it, as well as a piece of bread and a flower in a small vase.

She thanked him again with a smile, then returned to her thoughts.

_I can't stand knowing that one of them needs my help, and that it went unnoticed for this long! I'm their captain, for crying out loud; I should've seen something, heard something that tipped me off, and instead I've got a damn security detail and Tuvok is interviewing everyone in Engineering to find whoever owns that PADD. If I'd spent more time with them, maybe I'd have seen this coming. _

A disconcerting and somewhat depressing thought struck her as she stirred her chowder.

_This crew is probably the closest I'll ever come to having children of my own; this ship is our home, and it's going to be our home for a while longer. I really need to pay more attention to them, spend more time with them._

"You know, that soup doesn't taste very good cold, Captain."

Kathryn jumped slightly, and her head snapped up to see her First Officer standing in front of her, in his civvies. She smiled and laid her spoon on her tray, beside the bowl.

"I didn't see you there. I was..." she waved a hand in the air, searching for the right word.

"Worrying," he finished for her.

She gave him a tightlipped grin and nodded her head, admitting that he was right.

"May I?" He gestured to the chair across from her.

"Mm. Please," she replied eagerly, taking a sip of her coffee.

He pulled the chair out and sat down, rested his elbows on the table.

"Enjoying your day off?" she asked, setting her mug down again.

"It could have been better," he replied, admiring the small flower on her tray.

Kathryn sighed.

"I imagine finding that PADD wasn't exactly what you had in mind for a nice, relaxing day off."

He shrugged.

"It also could have been worse. Much worse."

She gave him a small smile.

"I suppose you're right."

She brought the mug to her lips again then leaned forward, putting it on her tray. She spooned some of the chowder into her mouth, and grimaced before swallowing. She put the spoon back down and wiped the corners of her mouth with a cloth napkin. A contemplative look came over her face, and she plucked the flower out of its vase, drained her coffee, and stood, before pointing to the door.

"Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

Chakotay stood as well, nodding to her tray.

"What about your dinner?"

She pursed her lips.

"It's not really my taste," she told him quietly, turning her back on the table.

"Ah." He nodded once, extending an elbow for her to take. "Planning on ordering something from your replicator?"

She looped her arm through his, and shook her head.

"It's still broken," she informed him, an edge to her voice, her eyes narrowed and glittering, and a small frown on her lips.

"Mine is still working. You can order something from that," he offered.

She stopped walking and gave him a questioning look, placed a hand on her hip, gesturing with the other hand (the small flower safely beween her thumb and forefinger) as she spoke.

"Why is it that _your _replicator never acts up?"

He leaned down a bit and smiled mischeviously.

"Because I never insult mine."

She looked at him with a warning glare, a smile playing at her lips, and waggled the flower at him scoldingly before letting her head fall back in laughter and taking his arm. She allowed him to escort her out of the Mess Hall, her chowder, bread, and worries forgotten.


	7. A Message From The Author (And Apology!)

To those of you who still keep an eye out for updates, thank you! I apologize for my silence. I've not been well lately, and wanted to publicly thank all of my readers for their patience, their loyalty, and their kindness.

The reason I'm posting a message instead of a chapter is this: Killing Her Is Easy is currently undergoing the revamp process. I didn't like the way it was written, and to be honest, I'm working on giving it a voice worthy of submitting to Pocket Books themselves. You all deserve to stay informed, and I wanted you to hear it from me, not from someone else. If you have any questions as to the nature of this "revamp process", by all means, PM me! My fans are some of the kindest people I have ever had the privilege to interact with. I am deeply touched by all the well wishes, and I truly am sorry for the extended silence.

Look out for revisions, and thank you again so much for your patience!

I hope you're all well.

Best wishes,

-M


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